What Comes Next

Learning how to live after an experience like this isn’t simple. It’s different for everyone, but for me, it’s taken seven years just to get to this point. I didn’t have a typical high school experience. While people my age talk about college, jobs, and getting their driver’s licenses, that hasn’t been my reality. I’m about to turn 21, I finished high school two years late, and I'm now just starting to work on the drivers written test. I don’t have a job or a license, and the most social interaction I’ve had since 2021 has come from volunteering with Rabbit Advocates once or twice a month, which I only started in April 2024.

And that’s okay. Healing doesn’t happen on a schedule.

In September of 2025 I had a somatic episode. It's where I get shocks up my spine when I try to relax, I can't sleep for more than 20 minutes at a time no matter how many sedatives I was on, I woke up screaming, I couldn't eat anything without throwing it up, and my attachment issues with my mom got so crippling that I was checking her location multiple times a day. Somatic Emotional Release is a kind of therapy that releases trauma stored in the Fascia of the body while you work with a therapist. Unfortunately I've been going through the physical responses without the therapist. It's terrifying, I faint, I hurt, I scream, and I can't stop. New Leaf has set me back, and I'm not ashamed to say that. Going through conditioning like that can kill a person, and I still feel like it has the capability to kill me. These somatic episodes are terrifying. 

There’s something else I want to make very clear. I know how therapy and mental health conversations are often seen nowadays. There’s a lot of what I like to call "hippie-dippie shit", self-diagnosing, and oversensitivity. That’s not what I’m about. One of the biggest reasons I created this site was to separate myself from that and focus on the real, hard conversations that matter. I needed an outlet. I needed something to focus on, and what's better than something that's haunted me for the past 7 years?

Some people visit this site because they want to share their experiences but want to stay anonymous. Others are here because they know someone considering a TTI program for their child and want to steer them away before it’s too late. No matter why you’re here, I hope this site gives you something useful-- whether it’s understanding, validation, or just a reminder that you’re not alone.